![\"Clare](\"https:\/\/www.faceitfoundation.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/legacy_book_dan_720x540.jpg\")
Clare Foley knew that her father, Dan, had a good handle on his depression when he was able to embarrass her at her track meets again.<\/p>\nClare Foley knew that her father, Dan, had a good handle on his depression when he was able to embarrass her at her track meets again.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s a people person, but when his depression was at its worst he became very isolated,\u201d says Clare, who was part of the College of St. Benedict track team. \u201cI was in college when he really got more on top of his depression for the first time. We\u2019d be at my meets and he\u2019d go out of his way to talk to the judges. You\u2019re not supposed to do that, but Dad would talk to them for 15 minutes.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was really embarrassing, but looking at it now, it was just a sign that he wanted to talk and be more open to more people.\u201d<\/p>\n
Dan taught 5th graders in Northfield, Minn., for 36 years. The entire time, he was battling an invisible foe \u2013 clinical depression. Though he knew something wasn\u2019t right, it took him years to finally see a doctor. \u201cLike all good men, I waited until it was terrible before I got help,\u201d Dan says.<\/p>\n
Clare says that, on the surface, most people wouldn\u2019t have thought anything was wrong with Dan. But those who knew him best \u2013 his wife and their four children \u2013 saw a different side of him at home.<\/p>\n
\u201cI have a lot of memories of him laying on the couch — like, talking to him on the couch and him just laying there,\u201d Clare says.<\/p>\n
Sapped of energy, Dan let depression overtake his internal monologue, creating an alternate reality that he couldn\u2019t see past at the time.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen I was at my worst,\u201d Dan says, \u201cI just assumed that nobody would want to talk to me \u2013 \u2018I\u2019m a loser, I\u2019ve screwed up so many times in my life, and people aren\u2019t going to like me.\u2019<\/p>\n
\u201cNow, if you told me you<\/em> were thinking like that, I\u2019d say, \u2018No, that\u2019s ridiculous!\u2019 But at the time, it made perfect sense to me.\u201d<\/p>\n Being a public figure in a small town made it difficult for Dan to seek help, even once he admitted to himself that he needed it.<\/p>\n \u201cThe counselor I saw for a long time was in sort of a complex of offices, and every time I walked in there I would think, \u2018I wonder who\u2019s seeing me? I wonder what they\u2019re thinking about me?\u2019 But I just had to go. I knew that I was a hurting unit and needed to talk to a professional. At some point, I realized that being this depressed was not normal, even despite how I viewed myself as this person unworthy of help.\u201d<\/p>\n After years of medication and talk therapy that helped him manage his symptoms, Dan started going to Face It in 2012. He thinks the group was the final piece to the puzzle of his recovery.<\/p>\n