![\"Steve](\"https:\/\/www.faceitfoundation.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/legacy_book_steve_720x540.jpg\")
When Steve Varpness agreed to meet with Mark Meier and Bill Dehkes in 2014, he was a bit apprehensive. After a dozen or so years of therapy and various cycles of medication, he didn\u2019t feel like he was making any progress. How was this going to be any different?<\/p>\n
He quickly realized he\u2019d made a wise decision.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt didn\u2019t take more than about 15 minutes to see that they understood me, that they could relate to me in a way that was really amazing,\u201d Varpness recalls. \u201cThat choice pretty much saved my life.\u201d<\/p>\n
Varpness, one of the Face It Foundation\u2019s many success stories, quickly learned that the group doesn\u2019t offer a magical solution to everyone\u2019s problems. What it does, however, is even more powerful. Through his time at Face It, Varpness learned the keys to managing his depression, and he learned that he had it in himself all along.<\/p>\n
\u201cFace It can\u2019t change you. But it can help you change yourself,\u201d Varpness says. \u201cFace It gives you tools that you can use to help yourself, whether it\u2019s awareness, mindfulness, or how to forgive yourself. They give you a toolbox of things that are at your disposal if you need them and you\u2019re willing to work at it.\u201d<\/p>\n
The key, Varpness says, is that he\u2019s learned to embrace emotions, acknowledge his feelings, and process them in a healthy manner.<\/p>\n
\u201cI used to be a runner. If something wouldn\u2019t go right, off I ran — I couldn\u2019t handle it,\u201d he says. \u201cBut life isn\u2019t just a flat, smooth ride. It\u2019s filled with ups and downs and things you don\u2019t like. I\u2019ve learned it\u2019s OK to have feelings. You can get angry, as long as you identify it and move on. I\u2019m much more aware of how I\u2019m feeling now, and if I\u2019m starting to go to a bad place, I can catch that a lot better now.\u201d<\/p>\n
Face It has helped demonstrate how a concept as simple as gratitude can have a major impact on one\u2019s daily life.<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cI used to not be able to come up with anything in my life to be grateful for,\u201d Varpness says. \u201cNow I can come up with all kinds of things. I\u2019m grateful for my life. I\u2019m grateful that when I wake up every morning that I\u2019ve got a job. I\u2019m grateful for my kids, the people I work for, my house. I\u2019m grateful for hearing the birds sing in the morning. It\u2019s been a big awakening.\u201d<\/p>\n These nuggets of wisdom are unearthed and polished up every two weeks when Face It\u2019s peer support groups meet. Up to eight men form a cohort and a group leader steers the conversation, but it usually doesn\u2019t take much to get them talking.<\/p>\n \u201cThere\u2019s a comfort level being in a group of people that understand you and don\u2019t judge you,\u201d Varpness says. \u201cI think guys are really good because they\u2019re patient, they listen, and they don\u2019t interrupt all the time. Everybody\u2019s very respectful. It\u2019s just an amazing feeling. There\u2019s guys who come and in the first half hour they start to talk about really personal things, and it\u2019s a really special thing.<\/p>\n \u201cThere\u2019s a certain kind of bond there,\u201d he continues. \u201cYou get really comfortable with them and you get a lot of support. You\u2019re able to give back, which I think is very important. You can give back to the other guys in the group just by being there. You don\u2019t have to give a ton of advice or anything. It\u2019s just the support they get from you.\u201d<\/p>\n
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