My name is Al. Trust me when I tell you that I never thought a guy like me would struggle with depression. To be honest, I used to question whether or not depression was even a real condition. However, I have learned firsthand on a couple of different occasions just how real depression is.<\/p>\n
From afar I look like just about every \u201cnormal\u201d guy you would see in a coffee shop. I\u2019ve been married to my wonderful wife for 11 years, we have four amazing kids, including an energetic set of four-year-old twins. I work as an assistant principal in an urban school, and I enjoy photography, traveling, biking, and doing just about anything with my kids.<\/p>\n
My first go-around with depression came about four years ago and I literally had no idea what precipitated it. In hindsight it might have been stress around kids and a promotion at work, but it\u2019s difficult to say.<\/p>\n
My second bout of depression came on hard about two years ago and it sent me down a road of difficulties I couldn\u2019t even imagine. I started to notice that I was really struggling at work. I couldn\u2019t get tasks done, I was having a hard time focusing, and I started to think that I was about the worst assistant principal out there. I thought for sure I was going to get fired, even though I had always been a really good administrator.<\/p>\n
At home, life became more difficult. Taking care of the kids was very hard, my wife and I weren\u2019t connecting, and my energy was practically gone. One time when I was driving to a familiar location, I had to pull over and use my GPS to get me there. To make matters worse, I couldn\u2019t sleep and I was having intense bouts of uncontrollable sobbing. I lost a great deal of weight, and I began to have frequent and detailed thoughts of suicide. It got to the point where I was unable to work. I took 10 days off while beginning to do some work with a physician around antidepressants.<\/p>\n
During those 10 days, I had no structure and no plan for what to do with my time. This turned out to be very detrimental. As my symptoms worsened, I began to worry, as did my wife and the rest of my family. Ultimately, I decided to enter a partial-hospitalization program, where I attended regularly scheduled group sessions to learn to better manage my stress. During this time, a friend mentioned that he knew a guy who ran an organization for men with depression known as Face It. After meeting with Mark Meier a couple of times over coffee, I decided to join one of the Face It groups.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ll never forget the first night I walked into the Face It office to attend group. I was scared the guys wouldn\u2019t understand my struggles and I was certain I wouldn\u2019t even be able to speak. However, once I had a chance to talk, I think I talked for over an hour. It was the first time I was able to sit down with other men who really understood what I was going through. It was incredibly helpful.<\/p>\n
The experience I\u2019ve had with Face It has been extremely helpful to me. A year ago, Mark and I began to reach out to local mental health providers in the Minneapolis\/St. Paul area to talk about the services Face It offers. I have been able to talk directly to mental health professionals and tell them just how critical peer support has been in my recovery.<\/p>\n
I have learned a great deal from this second go-around with depression. I\u2019m in a leadership position at my job and at times, I worry about the perception others have about me and what I have dealt with. But in general, the more I talk about what I\u2019ve been through, the more I realize that others battle depression too. In fact, it\u2019s pretty common.<\/p>\n
What I want other men to know is that recovery IS possible. It\u2019s not easy. It takes great effort and consistency and support, but I know firsthand how that effort can pay off. They\u2019re not alone in this fight. They shouldn\u2019t be afraid to seek out support and talk about their challenges.<\/p>\n